Am I Good Enough?

9/21/2023

You tell me I am amazing,

The smartest person you know.

Gorgeous you tell me,

And madly in love you are.

You tell me I am never too much,

That I am the perfect amount.

You tell me time and time again,

So why can’t I figure it out?

All I feel is broken,

An empty shell.

Like the sun has died,

And forever in darkness.

I don’t recognize my reflection,

In my mind I’m someone else.

Skinnier, prettier, more handsome,

Not this person that I see.

I have lost my confidence,

Feeling timid, self-esteem low.

I am unsure of everything,

But most of all myself.

Hiding all the mirrors,

Ignoring all the pictures,

Feeling fat and ugly,

I don’t deserve anything.

Paranoia has set in,

I’m suspicious of it all,

I’m turning against everyone,

Feel like nothing’s going right.

No one wants me,

Why would they?

I’m no one,

What have I got to offer?

I want to run away,

Hide away from everyone.

Isolate myself in my shell,

Loneliness my only friend.

Where did this come from?

Seriously, why now?

I was so happy,

Everything is before me.

Why does my mind betray me?

It tells me all these lies.

I can’t even trust myself,

It feels like I’m saying goodbye.

Crying has become the norm,

It happens every day.

No where to go, no one to turn to,

Failing on all accounts.

Why won’t my pain end?

Why does it cling to me?

Why do I revisit old wounds?

They never let me sleep.

--Wyatt Ridley